Writing this to let you all know that I might be less active on here for a little bit. I originally didn’t want to go too deep into it because it is very personal, but I feel like I should let people know what’s going on. I’ll delete this later though.
In a nutshell, I’ve been extremely overwhelmed and stressed out recently to the point where nothing feels real anymore. Drawing and music have been less fun too. I was considering not mentioning this, but on second thought, I don’t see too much harm since they don’t about this account to the best of my knowledge. Long story short, someone who I used to know in real life whose identity I will not be revealing due to both privacy and the fact that I don’t want them to be harassed or anything like that has been trying to contact everyone I know (irl, not anyone on here) and then some to convince them to turn on me due to some misunderstandings between me and them. This has been going on for almost year now, but recently it’s gotten so bad that im struggling to find a reason to stay calm. Im not gonna do anything to myself, i know better than that obviously, but i would be lying if I said that that hasn’t affected me at all. I haven’t taking care of myself as much as i need to because im both tired and overwhelmed by all my senses at the same time. It’s caused me to act quite erratic when im by myself and left with my own thoughts.
To clarify, I am not in imminent danger or have the threat of physical violence upon me, but even if I was feeling terrible, I generally don’t like telling people on here because not only is Newgrounds one of the few places where I can feel happy and at ease within minutes of logging in, but also because I don’t like being negative. I always try to look for positives in a bad situation most of the time. But earlier this week, I had enough of being bullied, gaslit and manipulated into being silent by this person that I felt like it was time that I stood up for myself and to try to clear things. I gathered me, them, and a few other people to try to explain my side and to try understand him a little more. I thought at the very least it was a start because they apologized for not knowing the full story. I thought it was successful. But just yesterday I found out they ignored everything that I said, and just start making up a bunch of shit to everyone who missed the call I set up. Suffice to say that almost everyone that I could still call a friend switched sides overnight, and now im all alone. I don’t have anyone to talk to outside of here anymore, and I feel as if im a failure. That I didn’t try hard enough. That maybe I didnt want it enough.
ive tried several times in the past to explain to everyone my point of view. I gave this person multiple chances over a year to try to hear me out even. But all of it has failed. I’ve been called every name under the sun, I found out that they’ve been saying shit about me for almost an entire year now behind my back to some people I genuinely thought were there for me all along just yesterday, and now everyone who I used to know at best is apprehensive, or at worst hates me.
im sorry that this devolved into a vent post (I don’t like putting myself out there like this in this fashion. That and the serious tonal shift between this post and the other stuff I’ve been posting over the past half a year) but I can’t stop thinking about it. And if im being honest, I could really use some words of encouragement now.
I’m trying my best, and I will pull through, but it’s just really, really hard to stay positive right now. Thank you to everyone who has read up to this point, and have a great night. As for me, im going to go test my new boss harmonist ps-6 that just arrived from eBay today. Take care everyone.
OnlyHereForNostalgia
I went through the exact same type of thing back in January of this year: Bad, bad drama with someone I used to be close to, and it ruined me for months. The drama also spilled into mutual friends and I lost some good people who suddenly hated my guts. I also made a news post about it and it took a lot of willpower to go to that point.
Venting about this kinda thing here is absolutely okay, even necessary, since online people are less likely to judge you because they don't know as much about you, and are more likely to be friendly on here. There's always at least one person who cares about you both from the internet and IRL. Heck, I'm only here because I saw your post on the artist news.
From my experience, two major things will help you: Time and how you spend it. Some people need as little as a month or as much as a year to recover from any ruined relationship. What matters is that life goes on, and you'll inevitably realize you're not in the wrong, and you can tell yourself that the other person wasn't worth your time from the start. You'll be fine as long as you have your mind occupied as much as possible, and remember what to do if this sorta thing ever comes up again in the future.
I wouldn't recommend you delete this post, but do what you wish by all means
Webtoon (Updated )
I was originally gonna delete this when I saw that I got a notification because I thought “oh no that woe is me post” but now I think I’m gonna leave it up for now.
I don’t like venting because not only is it* extremely awkward the morning after I post it, I don’t want people to think im an incoherent mess of a person that does nothing but talk about how shitty my life is (I recognize that venting is a privilege in of itself) and although im still kind of uncomfortable doing it, after reading your comment i recognize that sometimes i just have to let people know what’s going on in my life in order to help move on.
Thank you a lot for the kind words man. That last paragraph made something click in my head. It made me realize what I have to do: take time to get over it and do something that makes me happy in order to not be stuck in a rut anymore in the meantime.
Thank you so much. I mean it.